I was laying in our final Savasana this morning, thinking about what my Yogi was saying. She was talking about fear, because our theme this year is fearlessness. But not just being fearless, but embracing the fear and finding out what is on the other side it. She often encourages us to let go, sink further, breathe deeper, really listening to your body and what it is allowing you to do.
I spend at least half the time in our class with my eyes closed. I probably look like an idiot, but I don’t care. I like blocking out what I’m seeing and focusing on what she is guiding me to do. I feel like I can stretch into a pose stronger when I’m not seeing my reflection across from me. Closing my eyes I can be the strong yoga student, the graceful arms, the proper technique.
As we were laying in Savasana I was also overwhelmed with emotions. I was happy that I was able to do a few more poses, go that much farther, take it one more step beyond what I had done before. (There were actually a couple of things I did today that I have been unable to do til now. Woo Hoo!!) I was trying to let go of the stressors in my life in my attempt to get that mojo back. Tears welled in my eyes as we lay there, focusing on my heart rate, my breathing, thankful for everything I was able to do today.
It truly can be overwhelming laying there. Most people would think that just laying on the floor after yoga class would just be, well, lying there. But I think that unless you truly release yourself during that simple act of lying there, you can’t understand the power. The connection of your mind and body and spirit. And my wonderful Yogi once told me that when tears flow in that position, to let them flow. Your body is purging toxins. Letting go. There is something very freeing in that. When you’re surrounded by people who support you (which I am in my class because the girls there not only rock, but have also become such good friends!)
So as she came around and laid her hands on each of us, straightening my head, pushing my shoulders down, lengthening my legs, the tears overcame me. It was a very surreal feeling but one I embraced.
I’ve learned that I am stronger than I give myself credit for. I’ve learned that I can and should embrace where I am right now. I’ve learned that we don’t always see the baby steps we take, but when we look back, we see the journey has taken us further than we ever thought we could go. And I’ve learned that letting go is sometimes the best thing to do, because sometimes you’re holding on to tightly.