This day took much longer to arrive than I first envisioned it. I thought it would happen by last summer at the latest, but here we are, the first full week of March 2014! Wow. And in it’s own way, it caused me to delay another few days because I had to really think and narrow it down.
This is my 100th blog post. I feel like the elementary school kid on his “100 days of school” project, with 100 M&M’s. Oooooo, M&M’s. No! Not on the “it’s almost spring” plan. So many amazing, wonderful, exciting, scary, sad, and joyful things have happened in the past 100 posts.
I started my blog January 1, 2013. I had so much encouragement before I even started from friends who kept saying “You should write a blog”. I had never even contemplated it before. So I dove in. What did I have to lose? Well, as it turns out, a lot.
Part of who I am is always on my sleeve, which is why I thought doing this would be easy. I tell people what I think, I try to be tactful but it doesn’t always work out that way, and I am loyal (to a scary fault) to my friends. But if you hurt me, or my kids, or my family, the gloves are off. I regret that in some instances. I don’t in others. I found myself struggling more often than not on how to express myself through my blog, which just seemed strange and foreign to me. And the more I struggled with it, the more I fretted over it. Vicious cycle.
So some days I would write, and delete the whole thing before I published. And then I would cry out of frustration. (Everyone here knows I can cry at the drop of a hat right? Yep. Kleenex commercials used to get me every.single.time. It’s the curse of someone who is too touchy feely and emotional, but it’s also part of why you always know where you stand with me) Over the past 100 posts I’ve tried to get myself to forgive myself over not having the perfect blog, gaps in the days and imperfect sentence structure/punctuation/grammar/run-on-sentences/over-use of parenthesis (but I really LIKE using parenthesis because it makes me feel like I’m actually talking to you instead of just writing. Like a little sidebar in our conversation.)
There have been so many changes over the past 100 posts. I started yoga last spring and love it more every week. I have lost weight, I have been able to do things I never thought my middle aged un-bendy body could do and even with some of my limitations from my surgeries, I have learned that I can try. If I can’t do it, oh trust me, I get very frustrated with myself and then spend 5 minutes trying to get it out of my head that I couldn’t do it, but I tried. Some of the muscles in my legs may never work the way they should. But I can try. I can modify. I’m doing something I never thought I would do and that’s pretty amazing in itself. I have one of my closest friends to thank for the push to go and I have made some new friends with an amazingly strong group of women who do nothing but encourage and cheer each other on. Simply life altering and such a blessing.
I have had friends who got married (for the “next time”, cuz really, at our age, do we need to count? No!) and some who got divorced. Sometimes it’s for the better, sometimes it was blind-sided agony. I think one thing I have learned over the past 100 posts is that at our age, for our generation, it is ok to be happy. I’m not advocating divorce. I’m not saying that vows taken shouldn’t be held to the highest standard. You said you would take that person to be your spouse for your life, you said it in front of friends, family and God. It’s not something to be taken lightly. I also believe that friends, family and God want you happy. Sometimes there are circumstances that are out of your control. Things happen. Sometimes, things don’t happen, or change or grow.
I’ve seen my oldest son grow and flourish and become the wonderful man I knew was in there. He just needed to let him come out from the shadow of the frat boy. I think men take longer at this than women do. But now that he has, my heart just bursts with pride over him and how amazing he continues to be. The youngest has grown into a young man with a job, and a kid who makes me laugh daily. He has the heart of a gentle giant. His struggles with school I have documented over the past 100 posts and it continues to be such a hurdle for him. It breaks my heart. He tries harder than most kids with little to show of it. And let me give a bit of advice if I may. All kids who have learning disabilities do not have signs stapled to their foreheads. It does not mean he is not intelligent. It does not mean he will not be successful. It means he learns outside the box. Just because he is not in AP classes or on the honor roll does not mean he is below your child. That makes me so angry.
My horrible, awful, please-why-won’t-they-just-MOVE-already neighbors are still here and some how managed to get out of yet another foreclosure proceeding. I seriously don’t understand it. How many times does this have to happen? Oh, and in case you were wondering, as of this writing, yes, yes they do still have Christmas decorations up. In March. Sigh. I have resigned myself to the fact that I will be moving before they do. Oh, did I mention that I am now on our HOA Board? Yea. Yea I am.
I am hoping to hit my 200th blog before the end of this year. I am thankful to all my followers from all over the world. I am thankful to the people who have contacted me through email, through Facebook, through the blog, that I have impacted them in some way. Please keep the feedback coming. I love it. And I love you for reading this. Here’s the next 100!! CHEERS!!!!