Sometimes, don’t you want to just be silly? I mean, silly to where you are cracking yourself up silly. I think today feels like one of those days.

I hear bad news around every corner, but I think that makes me want to be silly even more. Must be the rebel in me. Oooooooo.

I went to barre class this morning, feeling a bit sluggish. I ended feeling great, as usual. You know the old saying, no one ever regrets their last workout. True that.

Then I got a phone call from my dad and his procedure this morning went well so that was a huge sigh of relief. No cancer cells detected and he doesn’t have to go back for another test until May. So I did what any normal person does, I came home, cranked up the tunes, put my teeth whitening trays in and started dancing around the living room, cleaning the kitchen, talking to Izzy like he was some baby who could, in fact, understand me, and then started dancing some more.

Just being silly.

So if anyone was looking in my windows while they were out walking their dog, or driving by slowly, that’s right. I was dancing. I don’t think I was quite “Elaine Benis” dancing, but that would’ve made it even sillier! Little kicks! Ha!!!

I’ll dance for my dad. I’ll dance that my dog is still alive and looking at me like I’m crazy. I’ll crack myself up that I can’t sing while I have my teeth trays in without sounding like I have a lisp.(Not that there’s anything wrong with that!)

There’s plenty of time to be serious……..tomorrow.

Amy silly


So yea, today is my birthday. Yea! I’m just older and any day now I’m going to start getting AARP crap in the mail and notifications about my Social Security monthly payout if I was to die right now. Thanks a lot SSA for letting me know that.

But this is not a blog post about that. It’s about toast. And my wonderful, oh-so-wise Yogi and her meditation thought from yoga Monday night. Yep. Toast. Pretty deep, right?

Let me start by explaining that it was probably one of the worst Savasana poses in a long time. Except that one time I broke out in tears and cried through the whole thing. No this was a close second. But at least this time there were no tears. It was mostly laughter.

First, there was talking from other people who were there to train. Unless we issue a gag order during Savasana, I think I need to learn to block it out better. Julie is doing a great job. Tammy and I and the other girls, not so much. Second, it was cold because, well, after sweating for an hour and then lying still tends to get a little chilly. So between Tammy and I, we were fumbling around trying to get our sweaters around us without disturbing others. It didn’t work so well. (Note to self: Be prepared for the cold ahead of time!) Then, I sneezed. Not a huge problem, except then I started laughing. Then Tammy started laughing cuz I was laughing.

So much for lying still and only listening to our breath, right?

But then Yolanda started her meditation focus for us. And I’ve been thinking about it ever since. And that too strikes me as funny, simply because it was about toast. Specifically, burnt toast.

She asked what we did when we had a piece of burnt toast. Do we throw it away and start over? Do we try to scrape off the burnt part with a knife? Do we try to cover it up with something else to mask the burnt part? Do we eat it anyway and get through it and promise ourselves we’re going to be more careful next time? Do we convince ourselves we LIKE burnt toast and this is what I wanted in the first place?

And then, while you’re pondering what you do with burnt toast, replace toast with your life. Hmmmmmm. Can you make a fresh start? Can you get rid of that part of you that is holding you back and move forward? Or do you cover what is wrong with other things? Food? Alcohol? Drugs? Gambling? Shopping? Can you get to the root cause of what happened and fix it?

Of course, fixing burnt toast is as easy as changing the setting on the side of the toaster. But fixing what is holding you down is as easy as taking the steps needed to move forward. To stay motivated. To stay focused. Put down the weight that is causing the problems and lighten up. Just like the toast.

And pretty soon, instead of dealing with burnt toast slathered with peanut butter (ya know, the crunchy kind and it’s on so thick you can’t taste the toast anyway?) you can have it lightly toasted with a schtickle of coconut oil. And realize how good it is without all that other stuff.


burnt toast

Feeling Funky

I could be thinking of all kinds of songs to make me dance, like Funky Cold Medina, or Funkytown, or even Play That Funky Music White Boy. (Ok ok, so I’m playing those songs and a chair dancing while I type this, which I must say is not as easy as it sounds!! I have a tendency to snap my fingers and throw my arms around in no discernible way.)

But I mean FEELING funky. Off. Not yourself. You have something weighing on you and you might not be able to put your finger on it. You feel distracted. Unable to concentrate. Feeling like you’re supposed to be somewhere or do something but you know you aren’t. Preoccupied. All wrapped up in to one big ball of funky. You know what I’m talking about?

I think we all have off days. Nothing specific can be pinpointed, but you feel it. OR maybe you CAN pinpoint it and it’s something you have been putting off, dreading and something has pushed it to the forefront. A memory. A song. Something triggered this response in you. So what can you do?

If I could count how many people have commented or asked me how I stay so “perky” or “in a good mood all the freaking time”, well, I’m not good with math so I probably couldn’t count that high. But it’s A LOT. Then I get the other side of the coin where I’ve been called “fake” or “pretending” or worse. Don’t we all go through ups and downs? Don’t we all have good moments and times where we wish we could take back a conversation, or a deed or an entire chapter of our lives? (Raise a hand for a decade or two??) No one that I know of lives in a perpetually even state. No highs and lows. Even Steven. Who does that?

The part of me that WANTS to be optimistic starts with my decision to do just that. No matter what happened the day before, I try my very very hardest to start the new day as a clean slate. Today is the day to make that change. Today is the day to start a new way of living, of doing, of being. So whether or not I’m delusional, I don’t think starting my day with a good intention is wrong. I might not end my day on the same note I started, but I can sure make a conscience effort to start that way. That’s not fake or pretentious, that’s me making a stand for the direction I want my life to go.

After, eh hem, a certain point in your life, I think we DESERVE to be happy. Don’t we? To throw off what is weighing us down. Cast aside what is not bringing us joy and contentment and GROWTH in our lives. Focus on you and what you NEED. Do you need to make a change? Are you scared to do it? Can you ask for help and have someone hold your hand while you do it? Do you want to risk living in regret? More time passing by with no action on your part? THAT is how you get out of that funky feeling. By taking ACTION.

And once you take that first step to better yourself, things have a way of falling into place for the next step to be taken. Even if you have taken these steps before, sometimes they need repeated. And a hand to hold for support. And that’s not fake or phony. That’s starting your day with a grateful heart, an intention to make a positive change today and doing whatever it is that needs to be done to make it happen. Let nothing stand in your way. Focus on the goal. Don’t let a fleeting moment derail your progress. And you’ll feel that funky feeling dissipate before your eyes.


baby steps

New Year, New Yoga, New Mindset

Today was the first yoga class of the new year. I had decided as one of my New Years goals was to push myself a little harder, try to do the smallest thing a bit better and truly appreciate what my body was doing and is capable of doing during class. It’s still so difficult for me to see how much progress I have made. I know that sounds silly. It’s not me fishing for compliments either. It’s just me being honest about the way my mind works sometimes. I think we all have a tendency sometimes to be overly critical of ourselves and focus on the flaws instead of the progress. So I’m making a conscience effort this year to do this as the part of the year of me! 🙂

By the way, every time I think of that phrase, I think of Seinfeld and the “Summer of George”. It cracks me.

So with today’s yoga practice with my new mat, new yoga pants and my renewed determination, I set out to push a little farther. Hold my pose a little deeper, stretch myself juuuuuuuuust a bit more. And I’m thrilled to say I did just that. Through the entire practice, I was able to push myself and bring my leg all the way through without touching the ground. Vast improvement in my book! And even though my arms still tremble during side plank, I rocked that baby on both sides the whole entire time, even when we flipped over, top leg behind and arm reaching for the sky. I refused to fall or come out of the pose before instructed. Again, major progress in my book. Beautiful wonderful progress.

Yoga is such a personal journey. It’s graceful, delicate, but strong, determined and focused. I think each of us exhibits those features every day. Some days we show one side more than others. Some days we have to. But it’s always there. Finding something that shows all of those characteristics in for splendid hour is a Godsend.

So while the year is still new, resolutions or goals are still fresh in our minds, try to find that something that is yours. Something that can bring focus and clarity and challenge and renewal to your mind, body and spirit. Because no matter what it is you achieve, it’s yours. No one can take that away from you.


white yoga