Winters Death Grip

It’s snowing. Right now as I look out the window, it’s snowing. Now this isn’t something new for March in Ohio. We’ve had major snowstorms in April before. Easter egg hunts have been postponed because there was snow on the ground and the little darlings all dressed up in their finest wouldn’t be able to find one solitary chocolate egg. But this winter won’t seem to let go. It’s so cold and grey. Just when we get one nice day of sunshine and blue sky, winter comes back with a vengeance. It’s like punishment for the joy of spring. One nice day brings along 5 or 6 horrible ones.

I know spring will be truly be here next week, but winter doesn’t seem to want to let go. I’ve already heard we’re due for another major snowstorm next week. Well, that’s the prediction right now anyway. It will change and the amount will be far less by then. The 8 inches of snow will really be 3, or not even snow at all and come in all rain instead. But the fact that a “major snowstorm” is still heading our way makes me cringe.

I want my flowers blooming, I want buds on the trees! I want the buds on the trees turning to flowers!! I’ve never really been affected by SADD, but I can totally understand people who are. Winter in Ohio is the worst! Soon, everyone will be asking me if I’m happy for the summer heat, and my answer will be a resounding YES!!!!! Yes yes yes!!! I want to be outside without freezing. I want to sit around a campfire. I want to feel the water from the ocean. Yes, I even want to feel like my face is melting off from the heat inside my car after sitting in the sun for hours.

Wow, that’s a lot of “I want” statements! lol!! Well, maybe until this weather turns around, everyone should just call me Veruca.

Obsession

Ok, ok, I have been MIA….again. I know. I mean, we are well into March, this desire to make this a daily habit should’ve taken root by now, right?? Yea, guess not. I always have the intention, but the follow through, well….that’s another story.

So what is keeping me from my daily writing?? Oh, that’s easy to pinpoint. The Jodi Arias trial. Plain and simple, that’s it.

I have always been a trial watcher. I watched obscure trials well before OJ thrust them into the spotlight. I’m fascinated by the process. Last year it was Casey Anthony. I mean, I was sucked into the daily minutia of the trial. The pacing, the objections, the sidebars. I wish I was smart enough to have become a lawyer when I was out of high school, but armchair lawyering is so much fun. I can practice law without a license and no one goes to jail because of my incompetence. Perfect!

Casey Anthony really brought trial watching to a new level. The hatred the majority of people who knew about this trial was something not experienced in a long time. That beautiful little girl, gone too soon at the hands of her partying carefree mother. When the verdict came back not guilty, I could feel the world stop spinning for a moment. Everyone stopped breathing. It couldn’t be!! Did I hear that correctly??? NOT guilty?? What??

I had to take a break for a while because I was truly disgusted with the entire judicial system. But then along comes Jodi. She has committed a crime so heinous, so brutal, that it has brought the trial watcher back out in me. It has all the aspects of a scripted movie; clean-cut all American Mormon boy hooking up with a pretty girl who seemed to love him so much she converted her faith. It has stalking. It has sex, lies and videotape. LOTS of sex. Audio and videotape. Dirty sexting photos. But most of all, the lies. Endless lies. She lies so much she can’t keep her own lies straight.

I was trying to explain my fascination with it and I think it’s all of those things rolled into one. But mostly, I find watching someone who, in my not-so-professional opinion, is a true sociopath. She has no remorse for what she did. She cries only if it benefits her or to try to illicit sympathy. Even then, she has had to poke a finger in her own eye to make those tears come out.

We’re on the back-end of this trial now, she will be on the stand for a few more days and then a few more witnesses for the defense to try to make what she did seem plausible. But looking purely at all the facts, looking as objectively as possible, she should get nothing less than thank Murder 1. Premeditation has been proven.

The trial is not scheduled to resume until next Wednesday. I’m sure I’ll be shaking and having some type of withdrawal symptoms by then. But come March 13th, you’ll know where I am. Glued to my TV with a bowl of popcorn.

Purging – the new cleanse

Purging. It’s amazing how good it feels after you’ve gotten over the initial shock of it. It’s really a great feeling. Healthy even.

No, I’m not talking about throwing up, I’m talking about throwing out! After 20 years of marriage, 13 in the same house, it’s amazing how much crap gets accumulated. Stuff that you don’t even realize was right there, in your face, but you see it every day and don’t even think about it anymore.

We are going to be moving, sometime within a year or at the most 3 years. Its kind of up in the air and I don’t like the not knowing part. So I guess to deal with that stress, I’ve decided to purge. I’ve rationalized it as a way of organizing, what needs to be moved, what can be donated and repurposed for someone else, and what can be tossed.

First, I was overwhelmed with the amount of stuff we had in our modest 1800 sq ft home. So I decided to start in the basement where most of our crap ends up. I made a dent, but woah, it was still overwhelming. I decided to move to our spare bedroom and managed to clean that entire room. I threw bags away, created a growing pile for my nephews and have a very good start on items for our community garage sale. Keep, donate, sell, throw away.

As I was going through the room I also came to realize that we all have places to purge. We just need to take the time, have an honest eye and dig in. Whether its possessions, food, or your life. There is always room for improvement. Keep and hold dear what means something to you. Donate your time or money or stuff that will make a difference in someone elses life. Sell what is still useful but maybe not for you. And throw away what is not good for you in your life anymore.

I think it’s hard sometimes to distinguish between the donate, sell, throw away. That’s when you take a deep breath, carefully analyse, and make the decision. And you also get to be a bit selfish, because this is your life, and your purge. Holding on to your high school yearbook, that’s an easy one to put in the keep pile. Holding on a broken lamp, thinking it’s going to get fixed but you know it never will is best to be thrown away. Or donated because maybe someone else can fix with what’s wrong with it.

Skipping yoga and other perceived sins

This morning I skipped yoga to help my brother. If that’s the worse thing I do all day, I’m in luck and glad it’s over so early in the day. He needed help, I helped him. I could have gone to yoga and not helped him, but it didn’t seem right. So I did what I felt was the right thing to do.

That’s what I have been trying to do all week. I’m trying to do what is right for me and my family. That doesn’t mean it’s right for you and your family. Might not even be the way you see the world. That’s fine. We all see things through different lenses, view the same situation in different perspectives and pull our own experiences into what and how we are dealing with everything every day. What is right for me might not be right for you. What is right for you could certainly not be right for me.

I want to make something clear, since it appears not to be: I am not naming names, pointing fingers, on a tower of judgement, or looking down my nose at anyone. Have you actually read what I wrote?? I mean, I have been brutally honest about my own situation. Have I asked other parents to perhaps look at what their kids are doing? Absolutely! I am not condemning all children in Westerville. Not calling all of them liars. Not saying every parent in Da Ville is reckless and uninvolved. If anything I have said struck a nerve, again, perhaps you should figure out why. Not for me, but for yourself.

It is human nature to lie. White lies, big lies, lies of omission. When a child is asked point-blank if they did something they know they will get into trouble for, they lie. Yep. Right to your face. Haven’t you ever lied to the cop who pulls you over for speeding? “NO officer! I wasn’t going 50 in the 25.” Uh huh. What about the little child who breaks the lamp and then denies it. He’s 5 and lying to not get in trouble.

That has been one of the biggest lessons. Everyone WILL lie. Looking you in the eye. Nope didn’t break that lamp. Nope, I didn’t drink at the party. Nope, wasn’t speeding. Trying to open communication, not only between me and my son, perhaps you and yours too. And realizing that parenting them when they are teenagers is just as important than any other time. The needs are just different, but they are very real. And there are very real consequences.

I would like to end this post with a favor. If you have comment, please post it here. My inbox on Facebook is becoming unmanageable. Facebook is a conduit to find this blog, not as the place for communication. I welcome the differing opinion. Keep it respectful as I feel I have done.

Housewives and husbands at home

Today my husband worked from home. He can do that, thankfully, because he can do his job from basically anywhere there is a computer connection. It’s a blessing most days. A curse on others. He can’t always get away from work, even when we’re on vacation, or out to dinner, or other very inappropriate times.

Today, however, is an exception. He drives a truck that we bought brand new, literally off the show room floor. 12 years ago. Last night on his way home, it was acting up, so he dropped it off at the wonderful Tuffy across the street from us. So guess what that means? Yep. He’s working from home today.

So here’s what goes through my mind when he’s here: Is she really going to eat THAT for breakfast? When is she going to take a shower? Is she going to keep flipping through the channels? But the biggest, loudest voice inside my head is What does she DO all day??

The life of a stay at home mom is not glamorous, but it’s also not jam packed every single day with back to back to back action items that could be cataloged on a spreadsheet. Some days I have only enough time to eat half of a cold bagel in the car as I go non stop til time to pick up after school. Some days, I have nothing pressing to do but catch on my Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (or Orange County, or New York, or New Jersey….but who’s counting?) on the DVR while the laundry is going.

Today is one of those days. Oh, I showered before 8am, had a Greek yogurt for breakfast, and the 4th load of laundry is still going. So I’ve snuck off with my iPad to the bedroom so I can watch General Hospital.

Shhhhh, don’t tell him I’m in here.