Mark it Down baby!!

I finally finally finally hit my all too elusive goal! And what’s even more astonishing is it happened the week after Thanksgiving! I have officially lost 70 pounds. 70. Seven Zero. 70 big ones. Say WHAT???

I have been hovering around the same weight for about a month. Very discouraging when I’m trying and not really doing anything different. But I stepped on that scale and my magic number came up and I was doing the happy dance in the bathroom! I know, not a visual you need in your head. Sorry.

I am transformed. Inside and out. And the questions I have received have really made me take inventory of my own life. This is MORE than just weight loss or numbers on the scale. This is truly about life altering all over internal changes, which brings about the bonus of external change.

It was soooo easy to resign myself to “this is me” and the “I’m not changing my diet/exercise” or whatever else it is that everyone tells themselves because I’m perfectly happy the way I am. So what if I have to shop in the Women’s Department? So what if everything I do revolves around what food I’m making, or someone is bringing, or what restaurant we’re going to? So what if this is my third piece of pie? No one is counting and screw ’em if they are!

When I started blogging about my weight loss, I shared that I was in a very fragile place. I had lost my bff of 25 years and felt like I was a ship lost at sea. A boat without an anchor. (Ok, I’ll stop with the boat analogies) I said how in that loss, I turned to food even more than I did normally when I was stressed out. Which seemed like it was too often. I was turning to an external fix for internal problem. How many of us do that? Food. Alcohol. Drugs. Sex. Gambling. Oh, it’s fun alright, don’t get me wrong! Having a night out with friends is something I look forward to. I did it just last night and we had a blast! I’m doing it again tonight with different friends. I will be a blast too! But it will be fun because of the people I’m with and the joy that comes from being with them. Not about how much or little we drink, how much food we order and eat or don’t eat. It’s about the time together and shared memories. What happens when that last bite is gone? Or the last drop from your alcoholic beverage of choice is gone? What happens when that last quarter is dropped into the slot and it comes up a loser again? Are you satisfied and can walk away? Or are you already thinking of the next bite/drink/chance?

In my weight loss journey, I have become bolder. Yes, me. Even BOLDER than normal. If you thought I was bold before, look out baby! I have pared down my Facebook friends, I’ve cut my Christmas card list (If you haven’t sent me a card for the past few years, you’re CUT!) and I’m spending time with family and friends who in turn want to spend time with me. I no longer mourn the loss of what might have been or what I should have/could have/might have done differently. That was a monumental shift for me the perpetual people pleaser.

I truly, honestly, passionately have found inner peace. Inner happiness. I have no time for people who continually let me down, lie, make promises with no intention of keeping them, or don’t make time for me. I count just as much. No chasing, no begging to change, no fear of being alone. Because I’m quite happy with myself. When I can take a few moments to take a breath, to calm my mind and actually be present, I find things can go much smoother. My previous way of thinking was always a blur, going 100 mph, saying the first thing that came to mind. That usually got me in trouble and/or made the situation worse.

And just to clear my own conscience, I certainly don’t want this post to come across as me preaching. It is soooooo far from that. It’s the opposite of that. I have no control over anyone but me. And that’s what I’ve discovered to be the biggest key in all of this. I can control me. If you can’t control yourself, that’s no longer my concern or my problem. If you want my help, ask. I would be there for you in a New York minute. But in shedding that weight, I have come alive. I feel empowered. I feel confident. I feel healthy. I feel happy. I feel FREE!

I was telling my friends last night that I would love to lose another 10 pounds. I think they think I’m becoming anorexic now. (I love chocolate, and ice cream and yes, wine! lol) I am focusing on being healthy, on being the best me I can be. And there were still plenty of jiggles as I danced around the bathroom this morning. Perhaps “toning” would be a better choice of words. Toning and firming. And getting my arms ripped like Linda Hamilton in T2. Which is still a goal.

If anyone would like to have more information about my amazing yogi, trainer and friend Yolanda and her website, please visit http://www.strongcalmsexy.com and learn more about her program. Your body AND your mind will thank you.

A night in, before a night out

Today is the calm before the storm. And my plans seem to be a bit flip flopped (how appropriate for me, right?) I don’t really have anything I have to do today, but tomorrow is jam packed from sun up til way past sundown.

And starting tonight, we’re supposed to be getting a lot of snow, 40 mph winds and below zero temperatures, and that’s before the wind chill is factored in. I don’t know about you, but a Friday night with the DVR and a take n bake pizza as the snow rolls in sounds about perfect. Fire in the fireplace, warm fuzzy socks and a blanket and I’m not moving. Well, only to the kitchen and back for cups of coffee or maybe some Chai. Mmmmmm.

But tomorrow is going to be exciting in a few ways. I’m going to throw my hat in the ring to join our neighborhood HOA, so I’m attending the meeting for that. Then straight to yoga from there. I’ll have a few hours off and then I’m heading to an evening event for a cancer fundraiser at a local tennis club! I can’t wait! I love tennis, and I got new pink Nike’s just for the occasion so it matches the rest of my outfit. A girl HAS to look put together at one of these things, right?

All of this will be occurring during the snow storm, horrible roads, and gusting winds and it’s not even close by, so that means driving. S-L-O-W-L-Y

I’ve asked Michael to stay on stand by, in case Ryan needs a ride, or I need pulled out of ditch. He looked at me like, why would you need pulled out of a ditch? I said “Do you even watch the news? Like ever?” and he says “Um, why would I do that when you tell me what’s going on?”. So I said, “What if I told you that a huge asteroid was heading to the Earth and we were all going to be obliterated?” To which Mr. Smart Ass replied, “Well, there’s nothing I could do about that so I would rather not know.” Sigh……men. Anyway, he assured me he would have his phone by his side in case I need saving Saturday night.

I’ll make sure I let you know how it goes, how much tennis was actually played and hopefully I’ll have some pictures too.

I hate November

I think I’m a rare breed. I keep seeing all these posts about how everyone loves autumn and the falling leaves, and crisp night air, hot chocolate, on and on and on. I like fall too. In October. By November I’m over it. But it just gets worse. 

I don’t mind a little cool down from the heat of summer. September usually starts a little bit, then October brings enough to make me shiver. I hate shivering. It makes even my freshly shaven legs feel like I have stubble and I truly hate that. And once that shivering starts, it doesn’t usually subside until May. Maybe April, but that’s pushing it. You would think with all the shivering I do, I would be much skinnier. Sadly, it doesn’t work that way on my body. 

I also don’t mind October because it’s the boys birthday month, and it’s Halloween and pumpkin everything. I do love pumpkin everything. And that’s awesome…..for a month. 

By November I’m so over it. It’s just getting colder and colder. Reports of snow start creeping into the weather reports. S-n-o-w. That is a four letter word in my book. The nights get colder and colder. Last night as we were watching a movie, I realized my feet were so cold that I thought they were frozen. I put on a pair of warm fuzzy socks that were so cute, and they helped….a little. I kept calling my dog over to lay on my feet but even he didn’t want those cold things touching him. And he has FUR!!! 

And November is supposed to be the month of thankfulness and it IS my Mom’s birthday month, so I always feel guilty when I start to be unpleasant in this month. I truly AM thankful for the change of seasons, the beautiful colorful leaves on trees, wrapping my hands around a hot cup of coffee or hot cocoa. Add some mini marshmallows and you have a winner! Pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving dessert. Pumpkin Roll that I make just for Michael because he doesn’t like to share it and I figure he can be selfish with that one thing. I can always make more for those who request my baking services. (Cheesecakes and pumpkin rolls… hit me up peeps!)

And flannel sheets get put on the bed, the down comforter comes out of storage. Fuzzy socks and warm mittens get moved to easy access shelves and drawers. Homemade scarves and Ugg boots stay by the front door. But my flip flops stay in the closet. It’s just wrong to put them in the basement waiting for spring to arrive. They would be sad and lonely!

It makes it so difficult for me to go out and run or walk. It hurts me to the core of my bones. Feels like they could snap any second. And the pain from that takes hours to heal. So I tend to NOT do it. And then when spring does roll around, it’s pretty damn evident that I haven’t gone outside, lived in sweatpants and comfort food. 

Yea, I’m not a fan of November. It’s the beginning of a vicious cycle. 

BUT………

This year, I’m going to try my hardest to fix what I can fix. I can’t stop the cold (I do live in Central Ohio after all), but I can work out inside. I’m going to try to find a gym that allows low month to month memberships and perhaps join for 6 months. I’m going to keep going to yoga, even though its pitch dark in the evenings and I might not want to leave my comfy warm couch. I’m making a pledge to myself to go. I’ll dig out the softest warmest blanket and claim it as my own. I’ll indulge in that hot cocoa when my insides are quivering, but I’ll savor it and enjoy it. I’ll look forward to what is to come instead of looking at what is over. 

And I’ll be thankful I can look outside at the leaves changing and falling from the warmth of my couch.